I am losing my mind with my 17 month old, what can I do to not turn into the mean mama??

My husband was exactly the same....so get what you are saying.That has changed...Men with no child care experience have no clue.The best way around that one as I had a very fussy neat freak ,who would complain when there was some fluff on the carpet--Is to explain and explain that its all partof learning--All toddlers are the same.Some are worse but ha they are the more intellegent ones..They like to see how all things work ..Remind him he too was a tot and they are all the same.Next organise a lunch or some get together with other families with children the same age--Get the men talking.The frustration for you is probably accelerated due to the lack of support from your husband,,Looking after children is the toughest job of all.I understand the frustration of trashing the house and wreaking everything that you have,you no longer can read the paper,go to the toilet,blow your nose,eat your meal ,have a hot coffee..Nothing.Its annoying .Every day is different,You have to walk out of the room and go and yell somewhere or cry or what ever because in 5 Min's time they will be so sweet that you will make your self sick because you may have behaved irrationally in anger and they don't mean to be .I always knew that was bed time for mine.Sleep is one on the main reasons this behavoir becomes immpossible.Is he having 2 sleeps a day.? Once he starts going crazy off to bed..Because you are right enough is enough.I also use to be so envoius of my husband because he too did nothing and I run around and still do as I have a 6 month old and a 20 month old while he would lay on the floor while our child was playing meanwhile during the day i would be cooking cleaning washing and had no time to play. He was mr good time dad.He was brought up that way but i wipped that out of him.Took a while ..